6/23/08: NWA Anarchy TV Report, Episode #123: Seth Delay Is Chad Parham's Hero!
6/23/08: NWA Anarchy TV Report, Episode #123: Seth Delay Is Chad Parham's Hero!
Jun 23 2008, 10:57 PM
Rez Dog 49
Joined: 25-June 06
From: Southside Richmond, VA
Member No.: 14
NWA Anarchy TV Report
June 23, 2008
Next week’s NWA Anarchy TV Report will be posted on Tuesday due to traveling back home to South Dakota.
WRESTLING: (n.) \’res-ling\ A sport of contest in which two individuals face off in unarmed combat.
ANARCHY: (n.) \an-ar-key\ (1) A state of lawlessness due to absence of authority. (2) A complete lack of order.
What happens when you mix the two together? NWA-Anarchy!
- Welcome to NWA Anarchy Wrestling, this is PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING~! Last week on NWA Anarchy TV, Hayden Young defeated Jeff Lewis and Austin “Truth or Consequences” Creed to earn a title shot tonight at NWA Anarchy TV Champion Truitt Fields. Shatter was prepared to unstrap NWA Anarchy Heavyweight Champion Iceberg when the Devil’s Rejects interfered, but Agent/Attorney Jeff G. Bailey unleashed the “Korean Killing Machine” Kimo. Kimo made short work of the Rejects. This week, the Wild Bunch have earned a third shot at NWA Anarchy Tag Team Champions the Devil’s Rejects in a no DQ, no countout contest after earning two “cheap” victories.
1. Truitt “Killing” Fields fought Hayden Young to a draw, so Fields retains the NWA Anarchy TV Title.
Alright, this is a very unique situation for NWA Anarchy, a face vs. face title match. “The Beta Flick” Jeff Lewis joins on commentary to bitch about losing to Fields during last week’s three way. Fields forces Young to a make a pair hasty retreats by demonstrating his physical prowess. John Johnson insults Greg Hunter and sucks up to the Feature Presentation. Back to the action, Young wipes out Fields with a somersault tope. Johnson asks who would he prefer to face: Fields or Young. Lewis says he doesn’t care who it is because he can still prove he is the best wrestler on television. (Isn’t that how the Ace Rockwell/Chad Parham feud started?) After commercial, Fields catches Young in the corner and delivers an inverted exploder for a two count. Nice move. Lewis inquires with the Wrestling Journalist if a punch is illegal. Hunter reluctantly agrees. Now wait a minute, I thought Larry Goodman was the journalist and Hunter was the play by play announcer. Am I missing something here? LOL! Young applies a front facelock with Fields draped on the middle rope and executes a DDT for a near fall. Johnson says Lewis can bring prestige back to the TV Title. With two minutes left, the TV champ fires back with a pair of clotheslines and a backdrop. Fields displays his awesome power by powering out a rana, but Young escapes a powerbomb and lands an enziguri for a near fall. With seconds remaining, Fields barely kicks out of backslide. The referee exercises his count after both wrestlers clothesline each other. Wait a minute that is a long 30 seconds. The bell rings after a Young turnbuckle whip. Afterwards, Jeff Lewis leaves the friendly confines of the announcer’s booth and heads to the ring. Lewis brags about being able to wrestle a five star match. He orders the “Green Boy” to step aside. Lewis says he is the real TV champion because he had Fields’ shoulders pinned to the mat, but the fans don’t. Young brags about going 10 minutes with the champ. Fields grabs the stick and tells them to figure it out themselves. As Fields exits stage right, Young tries to reason with him. Alas, Lewis kills two birds with one stone by shoving Young into Fields. Lewis rolls the Final Credits on Young until Fields makes the save.
COMMENTS: This was good considering two faces were wrestling. Line of the night goes to Lewis for calling Young a green boy. All joking aside, I love how simple and effective the booking was. During commentating, it was hard to understand what Lewis was saying because it sounded like he was too far from the mike.
2. Brody Ray Chase & Melissa Coates defeated Nick Paradise & Roxy Cotton.
This match was joined in progress… at the end. Afterwards, they prepare to humiliate Cotton via spanking, but Don Matthews make the save. Paradise is offended and confronts Matthews. Don sends him to Hades with the Lariat of Doom. Matthews grosses out Johnson by kissing Cotton’s hand. You da’ man, DON!
COMMENTS: If Paradise and Roxy Cotton aren’t drug references, then what is?
- John Johnson interviews the owner of the most coveted award in combat sports: “Numero Uno” Chad Parham. Parham displays the Certificate of Awesomeness and a cup of Starbucks coffee. What a man. Wherever Parham walks, controversy follows. Unfortunately, Jerry Palmer is mad that Parham is 2 – 0, but that’s old news. For some reason, the locker room’s credentials have bloated since the measuring stick has returned. Johnson equates the Parham Bump in ratings to a Presidential candidate appearing on a low rated TV show. It certainly didn’t help RAW when McCain, Nobama and Hillary appeared. Just as Johnson continues to relish Parham’s appearance, Parham’s hero Seth Delay appears. Chad & Seth make a wonderful heel combination. If the fans don’t boo Delay now, then they never will. Parham laughs at Delay for punching Sal Rinauro in the nose and cutting his locks. Parham notes Delay is so cool that the fans cheered him! Delay calls them girls rats and will still give them 5 minutes in the back seat of “the Classic.” Parham slaps Delay on the posterior as we head to out next match.
3. Corey “White” Castle defeated “the Lord of the Ring Rats” Seth Delay via DQ.
Johnson had an orgasm landing an exclusive interview with Parham and Delay. Hunter apologizes for Delay’s NC-17 rated comments. Awesome. After commercial, Castle is in control. After a spear, Delay feigns a rib injury underneath the ropes. Delay pulls out a pair of brass knuckles and clonks Castle. So much for any pancakes topped with lots of maple syrup at the NWA Arena after the show tonight. Delay even smashes the referee with brass knux for good measure. Rinauro makes the save to close up Seth’s Beauty Shop. As Delay backs to the locker room, he runs into NWA Owner Jerry Palmer. Palmer commandeers the scissors and delivers a tongue thrashing. Palmer promises to spank Delay the next time he brandishes scissors in his building.
COMMENTS: This was great entertainment. If Delay’s heinous act is joining Chad Parham, then at least part of the crowd will jeer him.
4. “The Leader of the New Jerk Order” Todd Sexton vs. Ace “Don’t Call Me Norman” Rockwell.
This match resulted from Sexton pinning Rockwell in a six man tag several weeks ago. Johnson scorns Rockwell for losing cleanly to Sexton. On the floor, Sexton delivers a Hot Shot on the ring barricade. After a Hardcore Hell DVD commercial, Sexton resorts to technical wrestling to hold Rockwell down with an armbar. They brawl for a minute until Sexton lands a roundhouse kick and a superkick, but Rockwell senses danger and counters with a spinebuster. After the referee administers his count, Rockwell goes on an offensive flurry. Johnson notes Rockwell can park a 40 foot RV in a 2 inch hole. If that’s true, then I’m paying Rockwell to chauffeur me the next time I head back north. Sexton lands a series of kicks in the corner and uses a rolling Fireman’s carry for a two count. Todd applies the Sexton Stretch. Rockwell struggles to the ropes to force the break. Sexton counters the Ace’s High with a brutal dropkick to the back of Rockwell’s head. Sexton sets for the Sexecution, but Rockwell counters with a lungblower to the chest for a near fall. Rockwell pays tribute to the High Rent District. Unfortunately for Rockwell, Sexton rolls through on a top rope cross bodyblock and slaps on the Sexton Stretch. Rockwell fights his way out by grabbing the ropes. Sexton is extremely frustrated and Rockwell exclamates the point by countering a series of knees with a dragon screw leg whip. Rockwell applies an awkward Texas Cloverleaf to which Sexton signals the Technicians. The Bald Headed Jerks save the Bald Headed Jerk. They receive a nice course of boos after a Hart Attack. As the Technicians head to the back, Rockwell calls them back in. They assault him with the Sexecution. The Technicians prepare to head back to the locker room, but Sexton grabs a chair when Rockwell rises back up. The referees head out to prevent further assault.
COMMENTS: We’re on a roll today with storylines.
5. The Devil’s Rejects (Shaun Tempers & Azreal) w/”the Reverend” Dan Wilson & the Staff of Righteousness defeated the Wild Bunch (“Brokeback” Billy Buck & Chris King) in a no DQ, no countout match to retain the NWA Anarchy Tag Team Titles.
Tempers unceremoniously dumps King to the floor when the Wild Bunch land dualing 10 Counts. Buck fights back with a series of bionic elbows. Buck tries to leap over Tempers, but he would have none of it. The Rejects focus on Buck’s knee. Johnson calls the Wild Bunch’s victories “circumstantial.” King continues to struggle on the floor with the Reject’s focusing their attack on Buck’s leg. Next week on Anarchy, the Konkrete Gorillas will take on Shadow Jackson & Slim J in the main event and Jeff G. Bailey will be in attendance. Buck counters a Figure 4 with a small package on Tempers, but Azreal barely makes the save. The Rejects continue to work over Buck’s knee. Again, King makes it to the apron, but Azreal plants him with a dropkick. To the floor, Azreal takes out his frustrations by stair smashing King’s head. The Rejects unleash more destruction on Buck’s knee. This is an absolute demolition. About two minutes later, Azreal clobbers King back to the floor. The Reverend grabs King’s hair to force him to watch the Rejects destroy his partner’s knee. King almost reenters the ring after throat snapping Tempers on the top rope, but Azreal sends him flying back down to the floor. Damn, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll? For King, it’s certainly more than three. Buck fires back and executes a Samoan Drop on Tempers. Azreal takes advantage with the Ted Bundy. King finally tires of the Rejects and smashes both of them with a chair. King covers Azreal for a nice near fall. The Wild Bunch connect with a double superkick on Azreal for another two count. Wilson is like Queen Latifah and has had it up to here with the Wild Bunch, so he coronates King with the Staff of Righteousness. The Rejects follow up with the Hellhammer. Azreal makes the cover for the victory.
COMMENTS: This was a fun match with awesome storytelling. This was the right way to build up the Wild Bunch unlike gaining to “cheap” victories. This made the Wild Bunch credible contenders, but yet the Rejects came out strong.
OVERALL: There was a lot things done right except for a couple of minor negatives.
Rush Limbaugh on Whoppie Goldberg: "Whoopie Goldberg is a five star imbecile, a glittering jewel of colossal ignorance."
Timmy Danger to Playboy Pete on GXW Inferno: "You're the only guy that makes Dr. Stud look like Ric Flair."
Comedian Wanka Sykes on Rush Limbaugh: "Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails; I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good waterboarding, that's what he needs."
The Joker in Batman: Arkham Asylum: "Too easy! Played you like a violin, then cut your strings!"
An exchange between Pharaoh and a backwoods fan at the Carolina Sports Arena in Burlington, NC:
Pharaoh: I'm a GOD, do you hear me?
Fan: God's up there.
Pharaoh: NO!!!! I'm a god, you eunuch.
Fan: God is WHITE!
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