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> 6/30/08 NWA Anarchy TV Report, Episode #124: Elite/Rejects Create Ultimate Carnage, Slim J Hung!
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post Jul 2 2008, 05:58 PM
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NWA Anarchy TV Report
Episode 124
June 30, 2008

Word of warning when experimenting with fireworks: don’t self-inflict a crimson mask.

WRESTLING: (n.) \’res-ling\ A sport of contest in which two individuals face off in unarmed combat.
ANARCHY: (n.) \an-ar-key\ (1) A state of lawlessness due to absence of authority. (2) A complete lack of order.
What happens when you mix the two together? NWA-Anarchy!

- Welcome to NWA Anarchy Wrestling, this is PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING~! Last week on NWA Anarchy TV, Hayden Young wrestled NWA Anarchy TV Champion Truitt Fields to a ten minute draw. Jeff Lewis added color commentary before issuing an open challenge to Fields to a rematch. Young created a discrepancy between the two parties by contending he is the #1 contender. Fields told them to figure it out amongst themselves. The NWA Anarchy Tag Team Champions the Devil’s Rejects finally rid themselves of the pesky Wild Bunch with special thanks to Staff of Righteousness. As a result, the Hollywood Brunettes and the New Wave will face off to determine the #1 contender. Jeff G Bailey will offer words of wisdom geared towards the Reverend and the NWA Elite will be in action. In the main event, the Konkrete Gorillas battle Shadow Jackson & Slim J.

1. “Numero Uno” Chad Parham pinned “the Winner of the Parham Bump” Malachi to retain the Certificate of Awesomeness.
Early on, Parham ends up on the receiving end of the Malachi Bump. After commercial, Parham crotches himself on the middle rope. Malachi continues his onslaught with a powerslam, STO backbreaker and a DDT for a near fall. With the Certificate of Awesomeness in jeopardy of heading to Malachi, Parham disposes of Malachi with a well placed enziguri and leaping piledriver.
COMMENTS: Defending the Certificate of Awesomeness against unknowns and jobbers should lead to a big payoff. Parham has the persona to pull this gimmick off like Awesome Kong has with the $25,000 challenge.

- Jeremy Vain excuses Greg Hunter back to his broadcasting position. Mr. Vain believes that it’s the fans pleasure that he graces them with his awesome presence. However, it’s even a bigger pleasure that he was standing over Mikal Judas bloody carcass the past two weeks. Vain is prepared to move on with his life when suddenly the lights go out. Lo and behold, Judas has grown more massive in size. Alas, it’s only Mr. Rob Adonis. The lights flicker again and this time it’s the real thing. Judas issues a Confucius style proclamation, “Jeremy Vain, beware of too much laughter for it deadens the mind and produces oblivion.” Vain explodes and commands Judas to appear from thin air.

2. The New Wave (Derek Driver & Steven Walters) fought the Hollywood Brunettes (“the Wizard of Aaaaaaaaahs” Andrew Alexander & “Too Hot for Chikara” Kyle Matthews) to a no contest.
Talent & Money head out to observe the action and harass the Brunettes. After commercial, the Brunettes focus their attack on Driver. Driver slingshots himself back into the ring only to land on Alexander’s extended knee. Nice move. Walters receives the hot tag only to slip on the rope to the Brunette’s amusement. Walters recovers nicely by manhandling the Brunettes. This turns into a pure brawl when Walters sends Alexander flying into JT Talent. A melee ensues outside with several tag teams. The New Wave wipes out everyone with dualing dives. The referee calls for the bell to announce there are no #1 contenders.
COMMENTS: Why did the New Wave dive on everyone when they would have won the match via countout?

- Bailey reveals the identity of Song Pak Du Kim as Kimo. He is the former bodyguard of the almighty dictator of North Korea Kim Jong-il. Bailey has rectified the situation for Kimo to slaughter the opposition. Bailey reveals Wilson was forced to head back to the Compound to reexamine his life and stare into the face of God only to find out that God hates him. As a result, Bailey has petitioned the Championship Committee for Shatter to have a rematch with Iceberg for the NWA Anarchy Heavyweight Title. Bailey dons Kimo the Korean Assassin with all the teeny-boppers cheering for him.

3. The NWA Elite (Shatter & “I Ate North Korea’s Entire Nuclear Arsenal” Kimo) w/Jeff G Bailey slaughtered Collateral Damage (“the Japanese Bumblebee” Yoshi Hiroshima & Bo Newsome & Jay Clinton & TK Kross.
This was complete and utter destruction. It’s the closest you’ll find a natural disaster in professional wrestling. The NWA Elite used dualing military press slams on Kross & Newsome so that they collide in air like two fighter jets. Clinton receives PTSD. Ditto for Hiroshima. The carnage ends with Kimo uncling Newsome.
COMMENTS: This makes me wish the Mulkey Brothers were still around.

- After Bailey leads the Elite back to the locker room, NWA Anarchy Heavyweight Champion Iceberg lays waste to the waste. The NWA Elite return to protest the Devil’s Rejects, but the NWA Anarchy Tag Team Champions Shaun Tempers & Azreal head out. Security heads out to separate everyone as Bailey & Wilson. Iceberg, tired of Bailey’s shenanigans, delivers the Ground Xero splash to the collateral damage. Even after the Elite is escorted back to the locker room, Iceberg crushes Newsome with the Ground Xero splash.

4. Shadow Jackson & Slim J defeated the Konkrete Gorillas (Nemesis & Jay Fury).
The crowd chants “Shadowmania” and he responds by manhandling Fury. The Gorillas immediately take over with Nemesis landing a knee to Slim’s back, a Fury single leg kick and a Fury German release suplex. The crowd chants “We want Shadow” as Slim takes a beating. J eventually fights back with a nice rope assisted head scissors takedown, but Fury ducks an enziguri and channels Low Ki with a double stomp to Slim’s back. After commercial, the Gorillas continue to deliver brutal punishment to Slim. Slim slithers out of a suplex and takes Fury down with a joke. Slim crawls to his corner to make the hot tag to Shadow. Shadow destroys Fury with 10-31. Shadow makes the cover, but the cowardly Nemesis nails him from behind. Shadow shrugs it off and Nemesis realizes he has pissed off the wrong brother. Fury catches Shadow bouncing off the ropes with the EnziFury. Nemesis seizes the opening and smashes Shadow’s head with the remains of the Benefactor’s cup trophy. Nemesis bloodies Jackson beyond belief. Fury stands on Slim’s back to choke him on the bottom rope. The crowd chants “Shadowmania,” but it’s to no avail. The Gorillas brandish handcuffs to Johnson’s delight. Nemesis sends Fury to the back to bring back a noose. Oh shit, we’re going to have us a hanging! Fury mounts the middle ropes, places the noose around Slim’s neck and Fury hands Slim with Nemesis forcing Jackson to watch. NWA Owner Jerry Palmer and security head out to stop the madness.
COMMENTS: All man, this feud is piping hot.

- Backstage, Nemesis displays his palm with Shadow’s blood for the second time. Obviously, Shadow received a massive beating for returning too soon. Fury laughs that Shadowmania is leaking and “the Pest” Slim J got hung. Good promo.

- Palmer checks on a bloodified Shadow. Shadow wants Nemesis like nothing else and promises to lick his own blood like candy.

OVERALL: This episode demonstrated on what NWA Anarchy does right: headliners in intriguing feuds and building midcard talent (though mostly with the tag division). The show ended piping hot with the Gorillas against NWA Anarchy’s top two faces. With a potential rekindling of the NWA Elite vs. the Devil’s Rejects feud, this promises to be a hot summer.
DOWNLOAD: http://www.thesuperstation.tv/nwaanarchy.html

Rush Limbaugh on Whoppie Goldberg: "Whoopie Goldberg is a five star imbecile, a glittering jewel of colossal ignorance."
Timmy Danger to Playboy Pete on GXW Inferno: "You're the only guy that makes Dr. Stud look like Ric Flair."
Comedian Wanka Sykes on Rush Limbaugh: "Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails; I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good waterboarding, that's what he needs."

The Joker in Batman: Arkham Asylum: "Too easy! Played you like a violin, then cut your strings!"

An exchange between Pharaoh and a backwoods fan at the Carolina Sports Arena in Burlington, NC:
Pharaoh: I'm a GOD, do you hear me?
Fan: God's up there.
Pharaoh: NO!!!! I'm a god, you eunuch.
Fan: God is WHITE!
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