7/12/08: PWS Amped, Episode #3: Ares, Piggly Wiggly, A Stoney Hooker and Porn Options

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PWS Amped TV Report
Episode 3
July 13, 2008

- Recently, King Marcellus captured the PWS Heavyweight Title from Charlie Dreamer using outside interference and a roll of quarters. To the back, King Marcellus didn’t care who he had to go through to capture the title including chasing out the previous commissioner.

- “The Best Damn Ring Announcer in the Mid-Atlantic” interrupts the champion and his main squeeze regarding his attack on Kirby Mack. Marcellus brags about embarrassing Kirby, but Your New Addiction seems to have a New Addiction, launching premeditated attacks on the champion. Can you blame Kirby after last month’s fiasco with King Marcellus? Good segment.

1. Joey “Is Better than Porn & ECW” Silvia pinned Mikael Yamaha.
Yamaha proves to be “Better than Porn” by delivering several armdrags and atomic drops, including countering a rope assisted rana into an atomic drop. They brawl at ringside for a couple of minutes until Yamaha flips Silvia on a whip. Back in the ring, Silvia gains the advantage by pulling the referee in harm’s way of a Yamaha corner splash. Silvia maintains the advantage by using dastardly heel tactics like hair pulls, chokes, and kicks. Yamaha buys himself by ditching a dropkick, but Silvia immediately gouges Yamaha’s eyes to counter the Scorpion Death lock. Silvia immediately follows up with a running knee to Yamaha’s slumped head. After escaping a chinlock, Yamaha buys himself time with a knee strike and a side suplex. He scores a two count on a slingshot body splash. Yamaha sets up on the middle turnbuckle, but Silvia catches him for a potential Curtain Jerker. The mission is aborted when Yamaha escapes. Back to the middle turnbuckle, Silvia escapes a 10 Shot by ducking and executing a lungblower. Silvia makes the cover, but Yamaha kicks out. A flustered Silvia makes the mistake of attempting a springboard maneuver. Yamaha delivers a powerbomb and slaps on the Scorpion Death lock. Silvia wriggles to the rope to force the break. Silvia holds on to the referee and low blows Yamaha in the nether regions. Silvia wins with the Iconic. What a low life Silvia is, but he’s still better than porn.
COMMENTS: This was an average match and perfectly fine for television. It would be nice to see more Silvia on TV.

- King Marcellus’s woman orders his to calm down, but Kirby attacks with a chair.

- Derek Ryze admits he interfered and kicked Stoney Hooker in the head because the Ultra J Title is MINE~! Of course, Ryze was following Bobby Heenan’s advice: “A friend is a need is a pest” and “There’s nothing like kicking a man when he’s down.” Awesome! Ryze wanted to get in that blonde bitch’s peanut head by beating up Stoney’s brother and he did! Ryze wonders aloud why Stoney no-showed their match. Tonight, the Ultra J Title is coming home.

2. Team Macktion (Kirby & TJ Mack) defeated Swiss Scout Account Holding (“The Man-Scout” Jack Manning & “Swiss Money Holding” Are$).
Manning has performed the dastardly deal of calling the Bank of Switzerland to combat Team Macktion. The only person missing is Claudio Castignoli with his trusty Halliburton. Wait a minute, we have Allison Danger joining the announcing team as a heel color commentator and she is always a fun heel color commentator. Danger announces that Team Macktion will be shaved bald if Swiss Scout Account Holding wins. Kirby forces the heel contingent to retreat. With the heels at ringside, Kirby channels Bill O’Reilly by calling Manning a pinhead. Manning stands befuddled if to be angry or not. With both teams back in the ring, Fatback Stutts reminds Sara Del Ray kicked in Danger’s head the last time she was in Statesville. Danger responds by noting that at least WIC will get you something at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store. Did you know Piggly Wiggly is headquartered in Keene, New Hampshire, but its closest store is in Virginia! Que? On the Reservation, WIC will buy you tons of booze. Team Macktion focus their attack on Manning using double team tactics. To ringside, Manning and Ares get into a shoving match. Manning slides into the ring to break the count by the ring post and ends up back on the floor. Ares consoles Manning to settle their differences. Back in the ring, Team Macktion continue to work over Manning’s arm. Manning takes over with an atomic drop and a clothesline on Kirby. Ares tags in and chokes Kirby with his tie. Kirby fights back, but Manning kills him with a spinebuster for a two count. The fans rally behind Kirby, but he fails to escape a chinlock. Danger talks about being big and Stutts counters he has big in every part. Danger concurs. I just have to say that Stutts & Danger make a fun combination on the mike. Kirby’s short comeback is immediately terminated with a Manning powerbomb backbreaker. (That looks like it could make a good finishing maneuver.) Ares tags and lands a missile dropkick for a two count. Danger avers that Wikipedia sucks because she doesn’t perform the Shining Wizard, instead it’s the Glimmering Warlock, which is a shining enziguri. Danger says that she knows more than Internet nerds. Didn’t Jack say that only to be proven wrong? Danger proclaims “Hannah Montana” when Ares misses a top rope senton. Kirby reaches his brother TJ to make the hot tag. Ares counters TJ with a fisherman neckbreaker. Ares makes the cover, but Kirby magically recuperates in 7 seconds and lands a nice double stomp. Kirby whips Swiss Scout Holding into each other with Manning collapsing to the floor. Team Macktion connects with the 1038 (double 619) on Ares for the victory. How dare you job out Ares like that?
COMMENTS: You have to hand PWS it’s due, they bring in name talent. (Yes, I know that they have strong connections, but the point is they bring Steve Corino, Allison Danger, Sara Del Ray, Al Snow, etc.) The match itself was slow at points and a minor disappointment considering the talent involved. Team Macktion wrestles much better when they don’t try to get too cute. The commentary was good especially when Stutts can play off of Danger.

- PWS presents King of the Ring on the 26th.

3. Derek Ryze pinned Stoney Hooker to capture the Ultra J Championship.
This match has been brewing for several months. Ryze plays the chicken shit heel early on and initiates a game of Cat & Mouse. Stoney turns towards the referee and Ryze sends him flying to the floor. Ryze apron smashes Stoney’s taped hand. Stoney dips on an elbow drop, but Ryze repels all comeback chances with a single leg kick to the face. Ryze maintains the advantage over Stoney with moves like a springboard knee strike and standing on Stoney’s injured hand. Stoney fires back with a springboard kick and mounts a comeback. To the corner, Stoney catches Ryze with an intricate Sunset flip for a near fall. Unfortunately for Stoney, Ryze had inflicted enough damage to quickly put him away with the Eternal Power diamond cutter. Afterwards, Ryze forcefully commandeers a chair from the ringside contingent, but Team Macktion makes the save. Ryze runs out the front door without his title and with his tail tucked between his legs.
COMMENTS: This was a short and disappointing main event. It’s nice to see that some wrestlers, especially the younger breed, remember to employ psychology. Stoney punched with his left hand (good hand) and sold when he punched with his right hand (bad hand.) I’m interested to see where this feud heads.

OVERALL: There were some major positives compared to the previous episode: Stutts added to the overall experience by being himself and having with Danger’s antics (these two make a fun commentating team) and less self-promotion by letting the wrestling speak for itself. Unlike most promotions, PWS has the talent and connections to allow their TV program to focus on wrestling. Having King Marcellus as a heel champion should make for fun feuds in the future.
WATCH IT: http://www.pwsprowrestling.com/home.html