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> 9/22/08: NWA Anarchy TV Report, Episode #136: Seth Delay: Here Today, Bald Tomorrow!
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post Sep 28 2008, 01:09 PM
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NWA Anarchy TV Report
Episode 136
September 22, 2008


WRESTLING: (n.) \íres-ling\ A sport of contest in which two individuals face off in unarmed combat.
ANARCHY: (n.) \an-ar-key\ (1) A state of lawlessness due to absence of authority. (2) A complete lack of order.
What happens when you mix the two together? NWA-Anarchy!

- Welcome to NWA Anarchy Wrestling, this is PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING~! This week, we embark on an annual track to Fright Night '08. For your personal information, Hostile Environment is currently available for your viewing pleasure at http://www.nwaanarchy.net. Tonight, NWA Anarchy is debuting a new division, the NWA Elite defend their newly won NWA Anarchy Tag Team Titles and Chad Parham & Seth Delay challenge Sal Rinauro & Jerry Palmer with the loser receiving a free haircut.

- With Chad Parham & Seth Delay heading back to the locker room to contemplate strategy for tonight's big match, "Agent/Booker" Bill Behrens announces the creation of the Young Lion's division for professional wrestlers under 200 pounds and less than age of 24 years. Names like Amazing Red, Jay Lethal, Kaz Hayashi (one of my personal all-time faves), Jeremy Lopez, Jamie Noble (James Gibson), and "the Phenomenal 1" AJ Styles have graced the juniors division during the Wildside days.

1. "Pink Passion" Adrian Hawkins defeated "Too Hot for Chikara" Kyle Matthews and Bo "Knows This, Bo Knows That, Bo Don't Know Jack Because Bo Can't Rap" Newsome and Chip "Dew or Die" Day.
Andrew Alexander joins us on commentary only to have John Johnson scorning him for pandering to the unwashed creodonts "we call the Anarchy Nation." Yes, creodont is a word and a carnivorous animal. This four way was a total cluster (not in a bad way) that is too tough to call. Let's just say there were tons of ranas, moonsault and planchas to be had. Hawkins cleanly rolls up Newsome for the clean victory. Obviously, what Bo doesn't know, kills him!

- Don Matthews wants the Feature Presentation to show his worthless carcass for calling him trash. The Merciless One has brought out a referee to wrestle Lewis when all of a sudden RUN DMC echoes throughout the NWA Arena. Jay Clinton, there are tons of great DMC tracks and you had to pick such garbage! That's sacrilege, I say! Lo and behold, "the Next Best Thing" Jay Clinton shows us believing he's Jeff Jarrett. Like Jarrett, his career sinks like the Titanic.

2. "Merciless" Don Matthews squashes "Bootleg All-Star" Jay Clinton.
After one Fargo strut and Lariat of Doom later, it's all she wrote. Don concludes, "This is your feature presentation."

3. Shadow Jackson & Slim J vs. "Very Touchable" Jeremy Vain & Mr. Rob Adonis.
Mr. Adonis and Shadow commence the festivities with several tests of strengths. Shadow outmuscles Mr. Adonis with a flying shoulder tackle and a vertical suplex. Vain tags in to face Shadow. The faces enjoy the action by making Vain their personal pregnant dog. The heels take advantage with Mr. Adonis distracting Slim J and Vain connecting with the VKO. After commercial and missing several minutes of action, Slim counters a suplex with a DDT. Adonis clutches Slim's leg to prevent a tag and maintain the advantage. Johnson calls them great optometrists, tailors and can replace taste buds. Slim pulls some shenanigan to make the hot tag to Shadow. With Mr. Adonis escaping to the floor, Shadow purchases a ticket for Slim on Unfriendly Skies Flight 187. Slim tries some crazy corkscrew maneuver and crashes before Mr. Adonis' eyes. Lucky for Slim, Shadow finishes off Vain with the 10-31 spinebuster. Afterwards, Vain admonishes Mr. Adonis for allowing Shadow to embarrass him. Hope Slim is alright after taking a nasty fall.

- There's nothing like Jeff G Bailey & the NWA Elite being on top of the world! According to Bailey, they left the Rejects lying in ring like a dog lapping for his master. Now, the Universal Soldier has found a worthy partner in the Korean Assassin Kimo.

4. The NWA Elite ("I Eat Nuclear Weapons for Breakfast" Kimo & "the Universal Soldier" Phil Shatter) w/Jeff G Bailey defeated Big Time Playaz (Scott McKenzie & "Some Dude Named" Matthews.)
The NWA Elite transformed the Big Time Playaz into the Saturday Morning's hangover. Shatter hits a double spear and massive PTSD for the victory. Afterwards, Kimo applies the Information Extractor to the hapless jobber. If Kimo were employed by the US government, there would be no need for Club Gitmo. Kudos to BTP for selling like a million bucks. The Mulkeys would be proud.

5. "Sort of a Big Deal" Sal Rinauro defeated "Numero Uno" Chad Parham & "Here Today, Bald Tomorrow" Seth Delay in a hair match.
With NWA Anarchy Owner Jerry Palmer attending to family issues, Rinauro is forced to singlehandedly battle the two most arrogant assholes in the NWA Arena this side of Todd Sexton. Parham connects with a superplex on Rinauro when Seth lives up to his last name. Parham further injures his ribs, but is lucky enough to have a tag partner. Delay poses like Das Wunderkind to grind salt into the wound. A cocky Delay slaps on the Sharpshooter and then releases so Parham can administer heel tactics. Rinauro gains a quick breather with an enziguri on Delay and a Shining Wizard on Parham. Rinauro begins a second wind by clotheslining Parham while dropkicking Delay back to the floor. After delivering a back suplex to Parham, Rinauro wipes out the hapless Delay. Rinauro slowly reenters the ring and is greeted with a running knee. Rinauro counters Parham's piledriver attempt with a backdrop and delivers a tornado DDT to Delay. After a rest, Delay administers the Kool Krusher to Rinauro. Parham digs into his tights, distracts the referee and tosses a pair of brass knuckles to Delay. Rinauro ducks and causes Delay to nail the referee from behind. Rinauro connects with a release German. He makes the cover, but Parham breaks it up with his patented senton splash. This provides ample opportunity for the Excellence of Arrogance to exude true heeldom. Rinauro springboards off the top rope and Parham pulls a Bob Barker by spaying and neutering Sal's nether regions. It looks like Sal's Steaks & Shakes is temporarily out of business. Delay heads to the top turnbuckle to set up the spike piledriver, but Ace Rockwell kicks him aside and delivers the Ace's High on Parham. With a second referee out, Rinauro is filled with renewed vigor and wins with a springboard enziguri. It looks like it's here today, bald tomorrow for Delay. Afterwards, Parham attempts to drag Delay away, but the entire locker room has other thoughts. Parham escapes through the front door leaving Delay to the barbers. Rinauro practices his new found profession as a barber and shaves Delay's hair. If I were Sal, I'd shave half Delay's hair like Big Bubba did to John Tenta some years ago. Rinauro slaps Delay for good measure. Parham heads back over to pull his fallen brethren and wraps a tour around his head a la Buddy Roberts.

- Overall a good show, but some recap from Hostile Environment should have been included.

DOWNLOAD: http://www.nwaanarchy.net/tv.html


--------------------
Rush Limbaugh on Whoppie Goldberg: "Whoopie Goldberg is a five star imbecile, a glittering jewel of colossal ignorance."
Timmy Danger to Playboy Pete on GXW Inferno: "You're the only guy that makes Dr. Stud look like Ric Flair."
Comedian Wanka Sykes on Rush Limbaugh: "Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails; I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good waterboarding, that's what he needs."

The Joker in Batman: Arkham Asylum: "Too easy! Played you like a violin, then cut your strings!"

An exchange between Pharaoh and a backwoods fan at the Carolina Sports Arena in Burlington, NC:
Pharaoh: I'm a GOD, do you hear me?
Fan: God's up there.
Pharaoh: NO!!!! I'm a god, you eunuch.
Fan: God is WHITE!
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