11/3/08: NWA Anarchy TV Report, Episode #142: Can the Mighty Iceberg Sink Shadowmania?
11/3/08: NWA Anarchy TV Report, Episode #142: Can the Mighty Iceberg Sink Shadowmania?
Nov 30 2008, 08:45 PM
Rez Dog 49
Joined: 25-June 06
From: Southside Richmond, VA
Member No.: 14
NWA Anarchy TV Report
November 3, 2008
WRESTLING: (n.) \’res-ling\ A sport of contest in which two individuals face off in unarmed combat.
ANARCHY: (n.) \an-ar-key\ (1) A state of lawlessness due to absence of authority. (2) A complete lack of order.
What happens when you mix the two together? NWA-Anarchy!
- Welcome to NWA Anarchy, this is PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING~! Last week on NWA Anarchy TV, Jeremy Vain reminded Mr. Rob Adonis owed him a personal favor and snatched up the TV title shot at NWA Anarchy TV Champion Truitt Fields. Unfortunately, Vain’s chicanery and buffoonery backfired. What an imbecile. In the main event, the Dynamic Duo pulled out the win against Ace Rockwell & Luke Hawx with the old one-two Bojangle’s chicken combo, a pair of shiny brass knux and a piledriver. Also, the Technicians earned a title shot at NWA Anarchy Tag Team Champions the New Wave by really not winning a #1 contenders battle royal in what was one of the worst and very few booking debacles in recent Anarchy history. This week, the New Wave defends the tag straps against the Technicians and Shadow Jackson challenges the Altar of Human Mutilation for the NWA Anarchy Heavyweight Title.
- Well, well, well, look who we have here… agent/attorney Jeff G. Bailey, Kimo, and Shatter have invaded the premises. If you think Bailey cuts awesome promos, you ought to hear his impersonation of ER, but that’s a story I’ll save for another day. Bailey doesn’t plan to scream and bellyache about the New Wave’s miracle upset of the NWA Elite. Yep, tonight is the luckiest night in the New Wave’s career because the NWA Elite will not be seeking a rematch. However, the most important thing in the NWA Arena is being a member of the NWA Elite. For all the semi-literates in NWA Anarchy, the NWA Elite has produced three world champions: Ron Killings (R-Truth), AJ Styles, and Abyss. Yeah, that drew a pop from the teeny boppers. The next WWE World Champion will be Shatter. The fans immediately pop for the heel. Ok, something is not right here. Shouldn’t the fans be despising Bailey for shoving his evil greatness down their throats? According to Bailey, there are three men responsible for Shatter’s success: Shatter, Kimo and Bailey. With Shatter gone, this leaves Kimo the slot to capture gold. Kimo will achieve a new level of success by making examples of anyone who crosses his path. To demonstrate Kimo’s dominance, Bailey challenges any member of the locker room to last 5 minutes with Kimo.
1. “The Weird Sense of Kim Chi” Kimo destroyed “The Weird Sense of Lettuce & Taco Meat” Don Juan.
Why did you place yourself in such a predicament Don Juan? Please head back for the Texas border Don Juan because this man you’re fighting is the Butcher of Pyongyang and the personal bodyguard of Kim Jong-Il. Juan starts out by outmaneuvering Kimo and mocking Bailey. Kimo immediately exacts revenge with a brutal German suplex. After this encounter, Don Juan’s harem of beautiful women has forsaken him because Kimo just stripped his manhood from him. One clothesline and Information Extractor later, Kimo obliterates Don Juan. Afterwards, Ace Rockwell heads out to challenge Kimo and he goes ballistic. Shatter has to hold Kimo back from attacking Rockwell, who was helping Don Juan to the back. Maybe Barack Obama should nominate Jeff G Bailey for Secretary of State and Kimo as personal overseer of Club Gitmo.
2. “The 2 Year Veteran” Adrian Hawkins pinned “Do or Die” Chip Day to retain the last entry in the Young Lion’s Mega-Rumble.
Hawkins is the last entrant in the Mega-Rumble to determine the #1 contender to the NWA Anarchy Young Lions Title. In doing so, Slim J slipped down to the first entrant. Both men dazzle the audience with their agility early on. The tide turns for worse when Hawkins flies through the middle and top ropes straight to the arena floor. Day takes advantage with a somersault plancha. After commercial, Hawkins counters a rana with a sitout powerbomb for a near count. Day fights back by eluding Hawkins and nails a senton. He climbs to the High Rent District and Hawkins nimbly eludes a 450 splash. Hawkins pins Day cleanly with the La Magistral cradle aka bandito. Crowd definitely was not into the match.
- After commercial, Slim J confronts Hawkins about experience. Slim J admits he wants to win every title in NWA Anarchy and he will win the Lion’s Cup Title as well. The Lion’s Cup isn’t about experience, it is about heart something that Hawkins doesn’t have, BUSTA~!
3. The New Wave (Derrick Driver & Steven Walters) defeated the Technicians (Tyler Smith & Bob E) to retain the NWA Anarchy Tag Team Titles.
The Technicians prematch attack backfires and the New Wave immediately gains control. After commercial, Driver pulls Smith’s beard to maintain the advantage. Driver makes the mistake of mounting the top rope in the Technician’s corner and Bob E interrupts his flight path. Stupid move on the champ’s part. The Technicians dismantle Driver for the next several minutes. Bob E mistakenly mounts the top turnbuckle only to crash upon impact. This provides the opportunity for Stevens to receive the hot tag and clean house. After some shenanigans, the New Wave wins cleanly with the Unskinny Teeny Bopper. Decent match for what it was.
- The “Master of Ceremonial Disaster” Greg Hunter is out to interview Brody Ray Chase & “She’s a Man” Melissa Coates. According to Chase, there is unbridled lust in everyone’s eyes, including the women in the audience. Chase brags about being on national TV and winning titles everywhere he has wrestled, but fails to mention getting his ass kicked on TBS WCWSN back in the 80’s. He admits that NWA Owner Jerry Palmer can’t take his eyes off of Coates. As soon as Coates speaks, Palmer heads out. Palmer scorns Chase and advises Coates to leave the old womanizer. Chase threatens the Boss, Hunter and the crowd. A disgusted Chase grabs Coates by the arm before heading to the back. What a jerk.
4. “The People’s Champion” Shadow Jackson defeated “the Altar of Human Mutilation” Iceberg w/”the Reverend” Dan Wilson & the Staff of Righteousness via disqualification, but Iceberg retains the NWA Anarchy Heavyweight Title.
This is the first recorded meeting between these two behemoths in NWA Anarchy. The crowd lets out a deafening roar and proudly chants “Shadowmania.” Despite Shadow’s size, he proves his 200 pound weight disadvantage is negligible by shoulderblocking Iceberg to the floor. After commercial, the almighty Reverend jabs the Staff of Righteousness into Shadow’s throat. Iceberg maintains control by brutalizing Shadow with a clothesline and slapping on a chinlock. Iceberg follows up with a bodyslam, the Thigh Drop of Doom, and a head scissors. Shadow is in danger of losing consciousness via a putrid smell from Iceberg’s legs. Yikes! The crowd continues to rally behind Shadow as Iceberg administers more punishment. Shadow finally answers Iceberg with a desperation German suplex for a two count. Iceberg fights back with a headbutt and an elbow drop for a two count. Iceberg prepares to finish off Shadow with Ground Xero, but as Wilson lets out a blood curdling scream, Professional Wrestling’s Only Serial Killer splats himself. Shadow employs Japanese psychology by delivering the Ground Xero splash for a 2½ count. Iceberg takes exception and employs Japanese psychology himself with the 10-31 spinebuster for a 2½ count. With the referee’s back turned, Wilson distracts Shadow by smashing him with the Staff. Though Shadow easily no sells it, it is enough of a distraction for Iceberg to club him from behind. Iceberg sets up on the middle turnbuckle, but the lights flicker! Could it be Mikael Judas? Shadow tackles Iceberg in midair which prompts Azreal to jump him from behind. The lights go out again and this time it is Judas! Judas chokeslams Azreal straight to Hades and stares Shadow down. Shadow looks for the stick and asks about not cheating. Shadow challenges Iceberg’s manhood and his girlfriends. Shadow thanks Judas for saving him and offers a handshake. Shadow’s major weakness is long match and this was too long for him. Kudos to the producer for good editing to make the match better on TV than live. Decent way to close Anarchy, but not the homerun that needed to be delivered.
Rush Limbaugh on Whoppie Goldberg: "Whoopie Goldberg is a five star imbecile, a glittering jewel of colossal ignorance."
Timmy Danger to Playboy Pete on GXW Inferno: "You're the only guy that makes Dr. Stud look like Ric Flair."
Comedian Wanka Sykes on Rush Limbaugh: "Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails; I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good waterboarding, that's what he needs."
The Joker in Batman: Arkham Asylum: "Too easy! Played you like a violin, then cut your strings!"
An exchange between Pharaoh and a backwoods fan at the Carolina Sports Arena in Burlington, NC:
Pharaoh: I'm a GOD, do you hear me?
Fan: God's up there.
Pharaoh: NO!!!! I'm a god, you eunuch.
Fan: God is WHITE!
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